Special Preview!! Chapter One of Lowdown and Lush (NSFW)

Lowdown and Lush will release November 18th, but I wanted to give you a sneak peek. Here’s Chapter One, and at the very end you can find a link to get an excerpt of Chapter Two as well! Happy reading 🙂

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**Note: NSFW**

Mike

I have my head buried between the blonde’s thighs when I hear the redhead whining.

“Baby, why don’t you give her a rest? I’ll take care of you better than she ever could.”

The blonde continues moaning as I lap my tongue up her center and debate whether I want to fuck her or not.

“Well,” I say as I come up for air and look behind me at the redhead, who’s lounging spread-eagle on the chaise lounge, “I can do two things at once, babe. Come on over here and show me what you got.”

Forty minutes and a few group orgasms later, I’m crashed out on the sofa in the living room of the hotel suite while the girls are sleeping it off on the king-sized bed. I lie bathed in the flickering light of the television, listening to the sounds of cars and music from the Dallas street outside. My skin itches and my head is throbbing, and as much as I wish it were from too much booze, it’s not.

I’ve been at this for weeks—an entire summer actually. And no matter how many women or how many times they blow me, fuck me, suck me, or just generally give my dick a big old workout, the agitation I have never leaves. It’s a constant, like some sort of wicked, unforgiving wetsuit wrapped around my body, slowly squeezing the life out of me.

If I lie very still and quiet, I swear I can feel her—the source of all my fucking problems. She’s checked into a room two floors above me, all nice and snug in her bed, alone, the way I like to envision her— golden hair spread across her pillow, alabaster skin glowing in the moonlight that slips through the curtains of her window, her luscious tits rising and falling to the slow rhythm of her sleeping breath.

Fuck. I punch the pillow I’m using and turn my back to the TV. It’s playing some old black-and-white Spencer Tracy-Katharine Hepburn movie. Over the last few months, I’ve developed a fondness for the old, classic Hollywood productions. Tracy and Hepburn have been two of my favorites ever since Leanne Silva, my boss’s wife, told me about their story. How they fell in love even though he was old enough to be her father and married to boot.

See, Tracy was a dog, man. A complete and utter dog. He cheated on his old lady all the time, and for whatever fucked-up reason, she put up with it. But that’s not why I like his story. What I like is that this beautiful, young thing—Katharine Hepburn—came along, and even though he was old, dirty, and married, she loved him. She loved him so much that she put up with all his baggage and stuck with him for the next twenty years or so until the day he died.

If Tracy hadn’t already been fucking around like a damn cat in heat, I wouldn’t have thought much of Hepburn, but the fact is, she didn’t break up his marriage. That had died a torturous death years before she’d come along. What Hepburn did was finally give the old guy an unconditional love. She never asked him to divorce his wife since he was Catholic. She never wanted him to be someone or something he wasn’t. She was smart and gorgeous and unabashedly in love. If some beautiful, young thing could ever look past all my crap—my baggage, my history, my flaws—and love me like Hepburn loved Tracy, I’d be the happiest guy on the planet.

But the gorgeous woman I’d want to do that for me won’t because I won’t let her. She can’t ruin her life with a guy like me when she has the world waiting to give itself to her on a silver platter.

So I lie in my hotel room two floors beneath her and wish for a day that’ll never come and a dream that’ll never happen with a woman who’ll never know just how deeply I feel about her.

At five a.m., the concierge and I start our little routine. I’ve been performing in Dallas or Austin nearly every weekend for the last ten weeks, and I always stay in the same hotels, so I’ve developed a rapport with the concierge staff. In other words, I grease the dudes’ palms so they’ll take care of what I need. What I need in this case is the two playmates from the night before whisked away before Jenny wakes up. Not that she has any standing to be pissed if I have had company, but I would never want her to see this side of me—the side that knows I’m fucking pond scum and acts accordingly.After we present the girls with breakfast in bed to butter them up, a town car waits for them under the hotel’s porte cochere ready to take them for a day of shopping. Then it delivers them to wherever the hell they live. These little escapades cost me a bit of cash, but honestly, I have so damn much that I never even notice.

By six forty-five, I’ve gotten rid of my companions and showered them off myself so I can head to the hotel’s gym. I spend the next hour and a half trying to work the pond scum out of me—at least temporarily—so that I can go see my gorgeous girl and start our day together.

Pushing my body to its limits in the gym is how I stand to live with myself. See, there is something deep inside me that I got from my mother. Not to sound like a fucking drama queen, but I’m pretty damned tainted., and I’ve always expected to end up just like Loretta did—dead on the floor of a bathroom in a pool of my own blood. So, until then, I’ve made myself a promise—to get every drop I can out of life. I’ve fucked more women than most men would in three lifetimes. I’ve played my music for the whole world. I’ve spent weeks intoxicated, days in bed, months in foreign countries. And I enjoyed every single minute of it until the night I saw Joss Jamison fucking his best friend’s girl.

Joss was the singer in our band, Lush. I played a pretty fucking wicked guitar, Walsh played drums, and Colin was our bassist. For most of my life, it was Joss, Walsh, and me. I was the third wheel. But for the most part, I didn’t mind. What Joss and Walsh had was pretty fucking real. They were as close to being brothers as two guys with different sets of parents could be. But I was the next best friend, and the three of us spent I don’t even know how many hours getting into trouble. First, with our moms. Then, when we got older, with teachers, girls, and the occasional overzealous police officer.

We formed Lush when we were seniors in high school. I had started playing guitar during our junior year, and one night while we were all hanging out in Joss’s garage, stoned out of our heads while I fucked around trying to play Free Bird, Joss just said, “Let’s form a band.” So we did. Once we realized we would need a bassist, we put up flyers around school and found Colin. It turned out that he was a perfect fit for the band and our group, evening up the numbers so that we didn’t have a third wheel anymore, just a well-balanced, smooth- riding machine.

Things were fine with the band and the four of us for a long time after high school. We got to be good musicians, discovered that Joss had a real knack for songwriting, and got along as well as any four twenty-something guys could.

Eventually, we started to get noticed. We played all the big clubs in and around Portland, and we got picked up by our manager, Dave. As the years went by, though, one of us was losing himself, and the rest of us either didn’t want to notice or were too young and stupid to understand what was happening.

Walsh is the best guy you could ever meet. He’s easygoing, sunny tempered, and as loyal as they come. He and his wife, Tammy, have been together since they were fourteen. Tammy’s a piece of work, but Walsh loves her, and I figure that’s all that matters. She’s a hell of a music manager too, and I’m grateful for the help she gave Lush and the help she’s given Jenny these last few months too.

But after high school, while Lush was growing, Walsh was too. He was growing a serious addiction to alcohol. It all exploded two years ago on our first big solo tour. We were crisscrossing the country, playing medium-sized venues, on our own tour bus, headlining over local opening acts. The business side of things was going great, but Walsh and his drinking were becoming a bigger and bigger problem.

Tammy and Joss tried everything they could to keep him under control, but he was impossible. If you gave him any downtime or freedom, he’d head straight to the nearest bottle. When things finally came to a head in the now infamous gas station incident, Tammy checked him into a rehab facility about an hour north of Portland and we ended the tour.

If I’d had the ability to read the future, I’d have known that Walsh’s addiction was the beginning of the end of everything I loved. The band, the guys, the music. But at the time, I was as oblivious to the dangers as everyone else. When I finally found Joss and Tammy in bed together, it was too late. The damage was done, even though it took another year for the sick truth to come out.

I shake my head as I do another pull-up. As much as I try not to, I still have visions of that moment. The sense of betrayal I felt. The disgust as I heard them in the bedroom. The sinking sensation that everything I’d relied on since I was sixteen years old had just exploded in my face—exactly like it all had before. There’s nothing quite like having history repeat itself, and not for the first time, I wonder why I have this darkness inside me that leads me to these places and causes those around me to do such horrible things.

I’ve just finished my last rep when I hear the door to the fitness room open. I look up into the mirror I’m facing and there she is—the single best thing that’s happened to me since I found Joss and Tammy that night. Hell, since I found Loretta and him. I look at the curtain of golden hair that falls down from the ponytail at the back of her head and the tight tank top that stretches across her perfectly round, firm breasts. Her big, bright-blue eyes meet mine in the mirror and I see the corners of her pink lips turn up as she sees me. God, she’s so beautiful that it steals my breath away. I turn and step toward her.

“Hi, gorgeous,” I say as I place my hand on the smooth skin of her arm. “How’d you sleep?”

To hear an excerpt from Chapter Two, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8Srry9-NlY

3 thoughts on “Special Preview!! Chapter One of Lowdown and Lush (NSFW)

  1. Loced it! Selana you did it what a beautiful ending! Loved Mike And Jennys’ storyline. Im so glad u told the story the way u did. I learned so much about mental illness. Im glad intwine real illness in ur story. Love it; ur a hot writer u go girl!

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