Here’s What Happens When You Just Stop Writing. #Passion2Profession

I’m dealing with this…horrible thing that I didn’t ask for. I used to love to write. It brought me incredible joy…I woke up every day, filled with excitement and an urge to rush to my computer so I could continue to tell whatever story I was currently writing. It was never easy, but it was always fun, and somewhere down the line, it stopped being fun…So I’m in free fall, because you’re right. I don’t know who I am, or what I’ll be if I just stop writing.” — Shay, SOME KIND OF HERO by Suzanne Brockman.

By sheer coincidence I was reading my first Suzanne Brockman book when she took the stage at RWA in Denver. There was a certain amount of irony that her speech touched on how a lot of people were feeling, while at the same moment her written words were touching on how I, specifically, was feeling.

So what happens after you realize you’re in free fall because you don’t know who you are or what you’ll do if you just stop writing?

Let me tell you all about it…in short, it’s a roller coaster ride.

In the last few weeks I’ve bounced from relief to disgust to acceptance. I’ve also found myself suddenly sobbing for no obvious reason, eating way more carbs than I should, and being unable to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes.

But, let me tell you something else: There is hope. And beyond that, there is learning, and pivoting, and there are dreams bigger than being a famous-wealthy-award-winning-bestselling-insert your personal goal here- author.

Here are some of the amazingly positive things that have happened since I wrote this post—>> eight weeks ago:

1. I admitted I was no longer earning a living through my writing, and picked a different means to make money. I’m still training to teach English as a second language, but the decision to pursue that employment has given me the freedom both to engage in interests outside of writing, and to explore options in writing I never would have if I were “trying to earn.” There is a tremendous relief that has come with removing money from the equation in terms of what I write, where I write, and how I publish, in considering partnerships and avenues I’d turned a blind eye to years ago. My entire career developed in the age of Facebook, Amazon, contemporary romance, and Indie. I saturated myself in those worlds, hyper focused on those platforms. But guess what? There are other ways and places, other genres, other options. If I hadn’t “given up” so to speak, I wouldn’t be seeing all the things I am now.

2. I left behind the things I’m not good at and don’t want to do. No more fretting over ads and algorithms, cross promos and giveaways. Will I do those things again someday? Maybe. Will I ever spend a bunch of time trying to “master” them? No. I’ve been focusing on story ideas, refilling my well, the process of creativity. And I’ve been working with other amazing women who are interested in exploring the same things (come join us here—>>

3. I decided I don’t want to be multiple people anymore. There isn’t a “Selena the author” and a “Selena the person.” I’m building an umbrella brand because I’m too complex not to. “Selena” loves language and books and humanity. And those things aren’t contradictory. One of the first things a “real life” acquaintance said when she read one of my books was, “it’s amazing how you wove human rights into a romance novel. I didn’t know that was possible.” Of course it is, and yes, I do it, but I do it in my own way. It’s not a marketing tool or a selling point, it’s just me. I’m going to keep on doing it, but I’m also going to discuss it outside the books. I’ll never make a speech like Suzanne Brockman’s, it’s not my style. But I’ll advocate and educate and use books and language and the skills I’ve gained over a lifetime to make the world a better place.

4. I’m deciding to go deep. When I woke up all those weeks ago and realized I couldn’t keep doing what I had been, I was faced with some choices about how I view myself. The easy thing was to say, “I don’t have what it takes to succeed.” But deep down that didn’t feel right. The harder thing was to say, “I haven’t gone to the right place to succeed.” There are places I haven’t taken my writing and my career because I was scared. Places I’ve told myself are “too good” for me. No more. It’s time to test the waters, take the plunge, and go deep.

A few weeks ago I felt like Suzanne Brockman’s heroine. And some days I do still. But more often I am feeling that this is not an end, but a pivot, a shift into something that while more complicated and intimidating may end up being much more fulfilling. All this is to say: your dreams aren’t an all or nothing proposition. You don’t have to view this career as a zero-sum game. There are as many ways to be a writer as there are books to write. Open your mind, release your creative energy, and build your own road.

#Profession2Passion: It’s Called a Sabbatical

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about where I’m at with Indie publishing. It was hard to do, but freeing at the same time. And before I wrote that and since I wrote that, I’ve been thinking and considering and listening, both to myself, and to others.

And I’ve come to some decisions. The first is that I’m going to change the way I approach my writing. From day one I’ve viewed this as my profession, I’ve done it full-time, and because of that I’ve worked my ever-loving ass off to do everything possible to sell books. But no more. I will never stop writing and publishing, but I have to leave the earning worries behind. I want my writing to be a joy again, and these days it can’t be that when it’s also my full-time job.

To jumpstart the new outlook I’m going to take a sabbatical! I’m not going to give myself any deadlines or make any major commitments from now until the end of the year. I’ll still have a release in September (it’s already written) and some Radish stories to finish, but thanks to my understanding publisher, I’ve postponed the other major projects until 2019.

As I start my six months of taking a really deep breath, I’m doing other projects–things for fun, things that need to be done, things that matter to me. I have a huge list of house projects–painting, stripping wallpaper, decluttering–I’m continuing to volunteer with immigrant and refugee children each week, I’m planning a trip for my daughter’s 20th birthday, I’m dreaming about retiring to Portugal, and I’m dogsitting for all my neighbors, because dogs, y’all. Tons. Of. Dogs. ❤

And I want to do something else while I’m on break. I want to create something that’s the opposite of what’s destroying this business. I want to create something that’s a haven from the  totalitarianism of Amazon, that’s the counter to algorithms and ads and bookstuffing. I want to help other authors feel good about what they’re doing, give them a place where they don’t have to worry about sales numbers or review numbers or conforming to tropes. I want to listen to authors and talk to authors. I want to help someone learn to format their first book, or choose a beautiful cover, or talk about whether to have their main characters kiss in the scene at the winery or the scene at the beach. I want to be someone you can talk to about your career in terms other than how many sales you made.

So this is your official invitation to help me build something. It’ll be organic and evolving, and completely ours. We can talk about ideas and creativity, we can post drawings, photos, knitting projects, and recipes. We can organize philanthropy projects or celebrate birthdays by posting excerpts from things we’re working on. And we can talk about our jobs as writers, but not about cross-promo and algorithms. In this place we’ll talk about how to write with a toddler in your house, which diverse romance to recommend this week, or how your latest trip triggered your creativity and helped you plot a whole new series. We can talk about how to develop niche readerships or get books to readers in new and different ways. I want to make a place where we get back to what really matters–creating things we love, getting them to readers who love them too, and being happy in what we do.

Join Here:

BREATH OF DECEIT is Live on Amazon and FREE in KU!

Happy Release day everyone! The first book in my new Romantic Suspense series, BREATH OF DECEIT, is available on all Amazon sites and FREE in KU! This book has been a true work of passion for me. After years of watching shows like Sons of Anarchy, Animal Kingdom, The Sopranos, and Billions, I had to admit it to myself: I love dark, gritty, suspense.

So, I decided to go for it, write the book I’d always dreamed of, one that has ALL the things:  suspense, family drama, crime, heroes, sacrifice, and yes, just enough romance to make us want more. It was scary, and it was an entirely new challenge, but I knew it was time to give my dream a shot. The Dublin Devils were born, and today you can meet Cian, Liam, Finn, and Connor for yourselves. Four brothers born into the Irish mob, fighting to find a way out with the women they meet along the way. It’s available in ebook, paperback AND audiobook right now! I hope you’ll love the guys and their world as much as I do!

Here’s where to read it, and what early reviewers are saying:

Amazon –>>

Amazon UK –>>

Amazon CA –>>

Amazon AU –>>

Audio –>>

Paperback –>>

“Cian MacFarlane is one of the most complex and fascinating characters I’ve ever read in a book. This book has it all—turn the page suspense, a story of the bond between brothers, betrayals, secrets, and romance. BREATH of DECEIT is Selena Laurence at her finest.” – Sandra Owens, author of the bestselling K2 Team and Aces & Eights series.

“Selena Laurence takes readers on a wild and exciting ride filled with sizzling suspense and heart pounding intrigue. I want my very own Dublin Devils mobster!” — New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Sarah Castille.

“A rare combination of spine tingling suspense and burning romance. You don’t want to miss this.” —Award-Winning Author Scarlett Cole

“The powerful plot, the intense storyline, the perplexing characters, the polished delivery, the impeccable grammar and structure all combined into one product that resulted in an impassioned satisfying and eloquent read.” — Girls Just Wanna Have Books Blog

“a fantastic start to a mafia family focused suspense story…I will definitely be keeping my eyes peeled for book two.” — Between the Bookends Blog

“I am not a big fan of mobster romances BUT, this one is really, really, REALLY GOOD!! It is exciting, intense, full of twists and turns and a beautiful romance that adds a richness to the story.” — Goodreads review

“full of twists and turns and will keep you hooked to every page.” — Goodreads Review

“This book is wonderfully written…I devoured every element of the story right from the start. I can’t wait for the next in this series.” — Goodreads Review

#Passion2Profession: How much is too much?

As much as we’d all like to carry the “New Year New Market” enthusiasm past January 1, the fact is the publishing market was the same on January 2nd as it was on December 31st. And we all know that means it’s anything but inspiring.

Because of that, there is a lot of talk about “how to earn,” and a lot of authors offering courses and coaching and mentoring. While I encourage you to keep learning, expanding your knowledge base and all that, keep in mind that there is no one “system” that will make you successful. While successful authors can tell you what they’ve done, that’s no guarantee it will have the same results for you. There are simply too many variables in this business.

Before you spend that chunk of change on someone’s system, make sure you’re realistic about what you’re getting for it. I’ve signed up for a year-long coaching program in a new genre, and I’m not expecting to become a bestseller or get rich. What I am hoping to do is get help building an audience from someone who’s already tied into that genre. That’s how you need to think. What can I really expect to get out of it and how much is that worth?

All of which brings me to today’s topic: How much is too much? How much are you willing to sacrifice to turn your passion into a profession? Because now more than ever it will be a sacrifice, and over and over again I’ve watched writers push their sacrifice too far. The call to follow your dreams is loud in this business, and there are people telling you they can help you do it (for a nice fee) everywhere you turn. There are a million techniques and strategies and approaches that you “should” be following, and then of course, there’s the actual writing of the books.

It’s overwhelming, and in our desperate rush to somehow make our dreams come true, we can push ourselves too far. So where is that line? Of course is will be different for every writer, but here are some basics you need to keep in mind:

1. If it’s damaging your physical and emotional health. Guess what? No dream is worth that. As much as I want you to succeed as a writer, I want you to be healthy more. If sitting at the laptop sixteen hours a day is giving you high blood pressure and you’ve gained forty pounds, or social media makes you anxious and writers’ forums put you into a depression every time you go online then it’s not worth it. Doesn’t mean you have to quit, just means you need to scale back until you can regain control of your personal well-being.

2. If it’s keeping you from being a good parent, son, daughter, partner, friend, spouse, etc. It’s easy to think you can take care of the people in your life later, but the fact is, no dream is worth destroying your relationships over. We all joke about leaving our spouses and children to live on carry-out while we’re on deadlines, and of course a week here or there isn’t going to kill anyone, but is it a few days? Or is it all night every night, both days on the weekend, all year long without pause? As the mother of four kids who are in their teens and twenties, and the daughter of parents who are nearly eighty, I can tell you no dream, no passion, no career is worth losing that time.

3. If it’s putting you into debt. Especially now, with the abundance of “I can teach you how to make money” opportunities that are saturating the industry, it’s far too easy to spend far too much on a career that will very likely never earn you much (and that’s not me being pessimistic, it’s just the statistics of author earnings). There is something to be said for spending smart money and taking well-calculated risks. It’s worked for more than one aspiring author, but if you’ve put your family into debt, or your business has never turned a profit, you need to stop and think about the choices you’re making. Illnesses happen, kids need things, spouses lose jobs. If you’ve taken away your family’s ability to weather those challenges because of spending on your dream, you’ve probably gone too far.

Finding balance is something every writer struggles with, and that tipping point is different for each of us. We all have different home environments, different finances, different personal proclivities and interests. But over and over again I’ve watched authors damage themselves and those around them with the drive to follow a dream. You won’t make it in this industry if you aren’t driven, but you also won’t make it if you’re sick, in debt, and lonely. Just like we tell parents they need to be healthy and happy to raise healthy happy kids, you need to be at your best if you’re going to make a go of publishing as a career.

#Passion2Profession: Top 5 Edition 2017

Ok, it’s time to take stock, tally it up, figure out what went right and wrong. Welcome to the Passion2Profession Top 5 edition for 2017!

Top 5 resources I loved:

  1. Writing App: Ulysses. If you know me at all, you know I’m a Mac girl all the way, so forgive me for the Mac-centric advice (sorrynotsorry). One thing I’ve learned about the way my brain works in the last few years is this: I don’t do complicated. If it requires a lot of fussy stuff it’ll just confuse me, frustrate me, or bore me (usually all three). I hate Scrivener with the passion of a thousand burning suns, so I always thought MSWord was my only option for a writing app. Then I discovered Ulysses. Yay and hallelujah, baby. It’s not perfect, but it finally enables me to rearrange scenes, view chapters all at once, and switch between documents with ease. It’s much simpler than Scrivener (which is why for people who like lots of complicated bells and whistles it may not work), and for me that’s perfect. Best of all, the fabulous Lauren Layne has recorded an introductory video on how to use it. Find that here:
  2. Graphics app: Canva. I think everyone on the planet knows about Canva by now, but just in case–get it. It’s free, simple, and allows you to create polished graphics with virtually no graphic ability whatsoever (trust me, I have none). My only advice is to make sure to use it to its full capacities–don’t be afraid to switch out fonts, images, colors, etc. because if you don’t, you can end up with graphics that are obvious boilerplate material.
  3. Stock Photos: Again, you ALL know about Depositphoto, right? Every year Appsumo has a wicked deal on Depositphoto and we all buy it and then everyone says their photos are everywhere. But here’s the thing, if you’re going to be legit with your business, you NEED to always use licensed images. Whether it’s a picture of a flower for a graphic in your reader group, or manchest for that takeover you’re doing, don’t pirate images y’all. The fantastic thing about having a deal like Depositphoto is you’ll never run out of licensed images for all those little things.
  4. Social media scheduler: Smarterqueue. I’d never heard of this one until a couple of months ago, but I’m loving it. It allows you to schedule evergreen content–particularly useful for Twitter, which I hate. It also allows you to post to Instagram via your laptop (although I haven’t tried this myself), and lets you categorize your posts so you can track if you’re posting a good mix of things. It’s not cheap, however–$19.99 for four profiles–but honestly, given the poisonous nature of much of social media this day, and my personal struggles with Hootsuite over the last year, I’m happy to pay it.
  5. Wordcount tracking app: Pacemaker. There are a bazillion ways to track and schedule your writing. I love Pacemaker. It’s free for two projects or “plans” at a time, and allows you to set parameters like whether you want to write more on the weekdays than the weekends, and it will recalculate your words if you fall behind or do extra. If you do decide that you need to have more than two plans running at a time, it’s an $8/mo subscription fee.

Top 5 lessons I learned:

  1. You can never go wrong building your backlist. The saying “backlist is golden” really is true. I’ve utilized audio rights, foreign rights, and new platforms with my backlist this year, and it’s carried me through a truly dismal fourth quarter on Amazon. Part of the key to this is getting past the “my book is my baby” syndrome. When you become a professional writer you eventually realize that books are not all as precious as we’d like to think. We’ll love some more than others, and readers will too, but ultimately, these books are pieces of a greater portfolio that is there for you to leverage. They’re the contents of your store, and you will move them from shelf to shelf, put them on sale, pull them out of circulation, put them back in again, etc. If you form a deep attachment to every individual book, you can’t make the kinds of decisions you must as a business person. Build your backlist, leverage your backlist, treasure your backlist.
  2. If it’s working, keep doing it. I don’t want to think about how many times in my career I’ve done something that worked–a marketing approach, a trope, a series–and then didn’t rinse and repeat. Why? Because in my mind I had a “plan” and it meant doing something else right then, or it sounded more interesting to move on to something else, or someone told me a different approach was all the rage. There are a thousand different reasons our easily distracted writer brains can use to do something else. But if what you’re doing is working, keep doing it until it no longer does. Full stop. The things that work in this business are few and far between. Take full advantage of that, y’all. Milk it for all it’s worth.
  3. BUT, if it’s not working, quit doing it! What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Make 2018 the year you change what isn’t working. There is more than one way to be successful, more than one genre, more than one platform, more than one market, more than one way to advertise, more than one award to win and list to make. If your career isn’t where you want it to be at the end of 2017, if you’re not feeling so passionate about your profession right now, resolve to make a change.
  4. You be you. It’s so tempting to look around, see what’s working for others and copy, copy, copy. However, while they might be successful, are they you? What works for one writer won’t necessarily work for another. Your work is your own, your voice is your own, your strengths and weaknesses are your own. Only you can find your recipe for success.
  5. What goes around comes around. When indie authors and ebooks exploded the publishing industry changed. The traditional gatekeepers were tossed aside, and the gates were opened wide. But in 2017 it became abundantly clear that there were still guards at the gates, simply different ones than before. It is now officially just as hard to be successful in publishing as it’s ever been. So if you’re not passionate about this profession you should probably think about doing something else.

Top 5 challenges still to conquer:

  1. Comparison is the thief of joy, and therefore stop comparing.
  2. Find your audience. If you’ve found them, build them. If you’ve built them, reward them. Then do it again and again.
  3. Decide what success means for you, and only you.
  4. Forge at least one new partnership, because writing is lonely enough, and you need all the friends you can get.
  5. Use social media instead of having it use you. Social media is a tool, try to do better at making it such.